A thirty-five-year-old man came to me for therapy because he admitted to having an anger issue which was affecting his marriage. His arguments with his wife would escalate, as his rage intensified. He shared with me that he needed to go deeper to find the source of his anger and so elected to do regression therapy with me. He expressed that he would get angry just like his father did when he was a child. As a new father now, he did not want to repeat his father’s behavior.
My sessions typically start before the actual client session and so it did with Jim. I clear my mind, connect with my spirit guides, and ask for a direction to take with my clients for their highest and greatest good. In this case they told me to go to the times in Jim’s life when he experienced the greatest emotional pain.
I use my skills as a regression therapist to ask questions of the unconscious mind which is our deeper mind that holds the experiences of the past. Our conscious minds are not able to problem solve or process those often-traumatic experiences. So, we keep recreating the behavior that stems from those traumas.
Jim was able to find three difficult times in his life when he felt great emotional pain. The first one that came to mind was the breakup with a girlfriend when he was eighteen years old. She had cheated on him, and he remembers breaking down in tears. At the time he was confused. How could this happen? In the session with me he was re-experiencing this pain as he shared it with me. He felt it in his body, his emotions and with his mind. There was an element of shock as there usually is when we uncover things we’ve buried and that was true for Jim. In a way he had never gotten over that experience.
I asked him to go to the next time, he experienced great emotional pain and he revealed that when he was about eight years old his parents told him that the family was planning on moving. When he said the words aloud in the session, he immediately expressed, “this can’t be happening.” He felt heartbroken. He would no longer have the bonded companionship of the close friends he loved. The only way he knew how to survive was to shut down, not talk to his friends, retreat. Talking to them would bring the pain back. He said, “My whole world is gone. What do I do next?” I asked how this felt in his body as I saw the tension rising in him. He said he felt tension in his stomach like ‘lost, hallow, empty’ adrift.
I asked him where those feeling where they’re coming from? He then went to a scene after the move when he was crying in his room. His mother came up to ‘sooth’ him but instead her words, “it’s only temporary, not a big deal,” stirred his anger. He said, “It’s a big deal to me. People hate me here. I hate you that you did not stick up for the family.” Then his attention went to his father, and he shared, “I got angry at my dad and defied him. Then my father’s rage erupted saying that ‘his word was law’ and he spanked me.” Jim then realized that his father had no empathy for what Jim was going through, but at the same time he wanted his father’s approval. This tug-of-war inside him was now out in the open. His mind could integrate the experience as he was never able to before. He connected to the child inside him and his pain.
He told me he could continue so we went to a to go a third time when he felt this deep emotional pain. Jim said that he was young, three years old and had gotten into the family car and found a way to release the brake. The car started to move very slowly, and his father ran up, grabbed him, and screamed into his face, “What the ‘h’ were you thinking? Get inside the house.” His dad continued to yell and swear. Jim was struck emotionally with profound fear and no sense of boundaries or way to get away from his father’s rage. He was too young to understand. All he knew was the anger that was pulsating around him and through him. This is an example of having traumatic experiences stay in our cells because a child has no defenses. He can only absorb it since he cannot get away from it. As an adult Jim has been re-enacting his father’s anger because he embodied the same behavior.
I bring this case to your attention because of what happened when I saw Jim for the next session. He told me that he couldn’t believe it, but his anger reactions were greatly reduced. He said when and if he disagreed with his wife about something he ended up having very little reaction. No outbursts, no continuous anger. If anything, he would get a bit irritated but nothing like before. He was amazed and surprised and elated. Emotional healing was processing inside and dispelling its grip on him. Jim is not his real name to insure confidentiality.
Christine (Chris) Alisa, MS., is a healer, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, a past life regression therapist, a shamanic practitioner, author, and international speaker. www.christinealisa.com | firstname.lastname@example.org.